Icarus soared skywards, seeking ambrosia. Freedom.
Nemesis inevitably followed such hubris.
He plummeted.
The floor tasted like wax, burnt feathers, broken dreams.
He wept.
A faraway voice soothed. “Don’t worry – it’s only a trip.”
© 2019, northie
I welcome your comments and constructive criticism.
The clever word play in this piece was so enjoyable and nuanced. The extra layers of why people do drugs (seeking escape), the analogy with the myth, 2 Gods and hubris! I always like it when I learn new things. I re-read Icarus, looked up Nemesis & hubris as well.
The only odd line to me was “He wept.” I wanted something more along the lines of the “fallen” or “crashed” or a word that was in keeping with the language thus far or trips or flying or crashing. This is really a quibble though. Please take what you find useful from this review and blithely ignore the rest.
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Thanks for your lovely long comment, Heidi. I always read comments with care. 😉
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Ego has a fall. This is well depicted in the story.
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Thanks, Kalpana.
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This was truly brilliant! I love the inclusion of ambrosia at the start and how at the end it was just a trip, which re-contextualized that opening line. Icarus is such a well known myth that you didn’t have to use too many words to describe the inevitable fall. Great work!
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Your comment made my day. 🙂 Thank you.
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I will confess the only thing I know about Icarus is based on the song by Bastille! That said, I liked the almost poetic prose in this piece. The imagery is sharp and grabs you. And I really like what the floor tastes like.
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Hi, Sanch. Icarus flew too close to the sun, falling to his death when the wax on his wings melted. I’m pleased you found the prose poetic.
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Nice job. You accomplished a lot within the tiny word limit.
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Thanks. It’s always a real struggle, isn’t it?
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I loved the classical references and the imagery of the soaring and the fall. However, I was puzzled by the ending.
I did not connect “ambrosia” with “trip” until I read the comments. I thought ambrosia was food, not a drug.
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Hi, Jen. Your comment made me look at the piece again. Ambrosia, as the food of the (Greek) gods stands in for the gods themselves. Which is why in the legend, Icarus’ actions are seen as hubristic. The final line is there to give context to the rest. In a way, it’s there to make you reread the piece with a different eye.
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